Elon Musk isn’t helping things when it comes to Vladimir Putin

| 10:00 pm EDT March 15, 2022
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Every Trekkie knows the Original Series episode of Star Trek called “Arena.” It’s where Captain Kirk is pitted in single combat to the death against an alien Captain by a powerful alien race. The stakes: their respective ships and the lives of their respective crews. Spoiler alert: Captain Kirk not only wins, of course, but he refuses to finish off the Gorn, of course. He is rewarded with his freedom, and the aliens magnanimously let the Gorn and his crew go free too, of course.

I suspect Elon Musk has seen the episode. It may have even been the inspiration for his bizarre challenge to Vladimir Putin. That’s right, Elon Musk has challenged Vladimir Putin to a duel. The stakes? All of Ukraine. Putin must pull out his troops if he loses, never to come back.

As I write this Musk has offered nothing in return for the challenge. Not even the pink slip to one of his personal cars. Not a penny of his vast wealth. Just himself and Pooty, mano a mano, in unspecified combat using unspecified weapons in front of the entire world. Shirts optional.

How firmly Musk’s tongue is in his cheek over this he doesn’t say. I suspect firmly. But there also may be some element of seriousness behind it. Whatever is intended, I have a message for Elon Musk and others like him: this crisis in Ukraine isn’t all about you. It’s all about all of us. We are in this thing together. So sit down and shut up.

While I’m in the neighbourhood I’d also like to add, this crisis isn’t all about Donald Trump either. It’s also not all about Tucker Carlson, or any of the other white, rich, privileged, spoiled assholes who take up space (and SpaceX) and breathable air. If it’s about anybody at all it’s about the civilian children, animals, women and men of Ukraine. It’s about their homes and property. It’s about their lives and dreams interrupted by a white, rich, privileged, spoiled asshole. I think we need to remember that before we think of anything or anyone else.

This all may seem like a game or a joke to Elon Musk, there for his personal pleasure, flippancy and the flexing of his colossal ego, but I can assure him it is not. This is not a reboot episode of Star Trek and Mr. Musk is most emphatically not Captain Kirk. This is real life, and in real life real lives are at stake. And there’s nothing funny about that. Not one damned thing.

One final thing about this little man named Elon Musk and his little challenge. He doesn’t say what is to happen to Ukraine should he lose. I realise this is all fantasy and the little child in the man’s body doesn’t really mean it. But even in pantomime his ego is hard to take. If Putin wins does that mean he gets to keep Ukraine, without consequences? Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Musk. Not even in jest. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.