Donald Trump’s Drunk History

| 8:08 pm EST January 2, 2019
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“President” Donald Trump has stated repeatedly that he does not drink, and we believe him. But perhaps he is auditioning for the show “Drunk History.” That show deals in actual facts, presented in humorous fashion. Trump doesn’t seem to understand the concept, as in his normal daily statements of non-facts, he is reinventing the world and reality.

On New Year’s Eve, Trump tweeted: “Remember this. Throughout the ages some things NEVER get better and NEVER change. You have Walls and you have Wheels. It was ALWAYS that way and it will ALWAYS be that way! Please explain to the Democrats that there can NEVER be a replacement for a good old fashioned WALL!”

For those keeping score at home, the wheel was invented around 3500 B.C., so not “ALWAYS,” and walls, well, they have been around for “at least 12,000 years” according to National Geographic, but not “ALWAYS.”

If it cannot get any more bizarre, today he is claiming that only world class pole-vaulters could get over his wall, and he dismissed drones. The cartels and others have motivations and a wall will not stop anyone who desires to get in. One, with the “beautiful steel slats,” the gaps appear wide enough to at least push packets through. Two, in Chicago in 2012, two prisoners escaped from their 17th floor cell that had very narrow window slats. Finally, and not to make light of it, but back in 1836, there was a fort, it had tall walls, designed to keep the Mexican folks out. Davy Crockett and many others died when the attackers scaled the wall, and we now “Remember the Alamo.”

Today, in a Cabinet meeting, Trump tried to show his extensive knowledge of the world, and as the song goes, he don’t know much about history. He claimed that the invasion of Afghanistan bankrupted the Soviet Union and made them Russia. He also praised the Soviet Union for invading Afghanistan, saying they did it because terrorists were going into Russia, when history reveals otherwise. Trump is authoring a new tome, “Killing Reality,” with every utterance.