Donald Trump has crazed meltdown in White House driveway

| 4:30 pm EDT May 30, 2019
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Donald Trump isn’t exactly taking Robert Mueller’s Wednesday press conference well. Trump woke up this morning and confessed on Twitter that Russia helped him to get elected, while trying to make the case that he wasn’t involved in it. He then spoke with TV cameras in the White House driveway and tried to walk it back – but in the process he only made things even worse for himself.

Donald Trump is really, really, really worried about impeachment. How do we know this? Just ask him: “To me it’s a dirty word, the word impeach. It’s a dirty, filthy, disgusting word … There was no crime. It’s high crimes and misdemeanors, not with or or. It’s high crimes and misdemeanors. There was no high crime and there was no misdemeanor. So how do you impeach?” But that was just the start.

By the end of his blathering, Trump somehow managed to back himself into a corner in which he said this about impeachment: “Honestly, I hope it goes down as one of my greatest achievements.” We’re not sure what he was trying to say – perhaps that being exonerated will be one of his greatest achievements – but what he actually said is that he hopes impeachment will be one of his greatest achievements. This guy can’t even speak anymore.

During his White House driveway meltdown, Donald Trump also proceeded to attack John McCain in response to his administration’s scandal involving the USS John McCain. Trump also insisted that he’ll get the courts to stop the House from beginning impeachment proceedings; considering there’s no such thing, it’s not clear what he thinks this is supposed to mean.