Donald Trump circles the drain

| 12:01 pm EDT July 6, 2019
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We’ve been through everything with this guy. Russian collusion, bankruptcy, fraud and death. And now war. Yes, the #RevotionaryWarAirportStories is a thing. We all heard Trump say it. He’s now whining that there was rain on the monitor, and the darned thing went out just at the point of saying “ramparts.” He was understandably put on the spot. So, he substituted the word “airports” instead. Could happen to anyone. Anyone under the age of 9. Ok. Maybe 6.

But what a shame this was. His triumphal moment, when planes flew overhead, and tanks stood before him at the ready. He was at his most peak presidential, with Melania next to him in embarrassing fashion, when he said it. Yes. Airports.

Now there is some controversy to unwrap here as his speech went back and forth between the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812 with nary a difference in the narrative, so there’s that confusion. There weren’t airports in either era, but that won’t matter to Lou Dobbs. What Trump meant and what he said, he’ll say, is only clear to those patriots who hear with their heart and not their brain.

Unfortunately, these same folks can never hear with their heart when there are brown kids in cages. And we’re not really sure where their brains have been located since 2016. Of course, they’ll say nobody’s perfect. There’s always an excuse. And though some of their excuses are laughable, they spout them off like lead from a musket. Because white people always get a second chance to make a good impression. It’s kind of a law.

But take heart. This won’t last. These “patriots” have a lot of other patriots moving on them like a bitch, to paraphrase Trump. We really are winning. Revolutionary War Airport Stories. You can’t make this stuff up. And I say that as a professional fiction writer.