Donald Trump’s troubles just multiplied by fifty

| 8:00 pm EST November 6, 2023
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

The states that make up America are, in a way, like their own countries. Every state has its own culture and its way of doing things. In Arizona, one might spend their time at its colorful parks, including its crown jewel, the Grand Canyon. In Maine, one might gaze upon the almost otherworldly lighthouses and stunning rocky coast. Oregon is known for its beautiful terrain and waterfalls, California has beaches galore, Florida is the palm tree capital of the country, Virginia is like living in a history book, New York has got the city that never sleeps, and Colorado has some of the most breathtaking mountains one could ever see.

Yet, one thing that binds all these states is the fact that they vote — they participate in our elections because we are a democracy, and ALL of the states get a say. Yet states vote differently, as is their right. That is why we have red, blue, and purple states.

Oh, wait! Perhaps I was wrong. You see, my friends, one person has declared all the states are alike in that they AL vote red! That’s right. Rhode Island? A red state. Massachusetts, New York, California? All vote red. Yes, they do. According to the warped mind of seditionist number one, they do. Donald John Trump, while campaigning in Florida, claimed that he won ALL FIFTY STATES in the 2020 election. That’s right. All the spoils of war went to HIM.

“We won,” the creature from the insurrectionist lagoon shouted loonily. “We won! The last time 50 states, think of it, 50 STATES,” he shrieked quickly, putting an end to the lingering question: Is ANY of Trump’s brain intact? The answer to that question is no, it’s not.

“We got 12 million more votes or so — 12 million more votes than we got the first time.” Listen, friends and readers, I must tell you a few things. I have won Powerball 16 times, I invented money, and I live in a castle in Greece.

None of that is true, of course. But apparently, in Trump’s world, if one says it — it must be true. Strange and sad way to live, I do believe. “The whole thing is a lie….the whole election is a lie.”

My gosh, I’m tired of this jellyfish of a man (or rather a THING), A man who breaks the law with frightening regularity, a person who can’t string two sentences together, and who has apparently decided to claim blue states like Massachusetts and California.

Is his little ego that hard up? Can he cope so little with defeat? The answers to THOSE questions are yes.

The truth is the truth is truth, and the truth is TRUMP LOST. He lost big. He is a traitor. His ego is in shreds. And he is going to prison. And unlike what Trump says, every word I wrote above is true. I especially love the going to prison part. Let’s make it sooner rather than later.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.