Donald Trump’s state of panic

| 9:00 pm EST February 11, 2024
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

Very bad things seem to be happening to Donald Trump’s brain, and if I was on his campaign staff, this is the time I’d start to panic. It all started in the state of Pennsylvania, a great state, if ever there was one. Strolling through this state is like being in a living history book. Unfortunately, Donald Trump seems to be on the wrong side of said history.

Trump was doing a “rally” (or whatever those things he does actually are) when he came out with a statement so bizarre, so unhinged that I didn’t believe it at first. I thought, my friends, it was fake news.

It is not. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was the scene of the slime. Trump was talking and pleading for votes when it happened! Trump’s brain went out to lunch, leaving a babbling orange dipstick who went on and on about — names.

More specifically, Pennsylvania’s name. Pennsylvania means “Penn’s woods.” Its name is steeped in history and was named in honor of Admiral Sir William Penn. Only Donald Trump, at this rally, told his (very small) group of supporters that he was worried about Pennsylvania. Why?

Because if Democrats win, Donald Trump warned his audience, they plan to change the name of Pennsylvania to something else. Cue the crazy-time music. Then Trump began to beg for votes — all in the name, pardon the pun, of keeping the state’s name intact.

“Is he CRAZY?” As you can guess, onlookers appeared — baffled, very baffled. He started to BEG.

“We have to,” the crazy man ranted, “We have to win in November!”

“Or we’re not gonna have — Pennsylvania?”

“They’ll CHANGE THE NAME,” the buffoon yelled into the dark of the night (and the dark of the insanity, which by now had taken a firm hold of his brain stem.) But Trump was not yet done. “They’re gonna change the name of Pennsylvania!!!”

What in the HELL, exclaimed millions of bewildered people.

“Absolutely no mental issues here.” This is from George Conway and, of course, was said with extreme sarcasm. So what’s up with Trump? Why all the panic over Pennsylvania’s name? Is he afraid they will change the state’s name to – I don’t know — the state of Jack Smith?

Perhaps he thinks this brand-new name will be Joe Mania instead of Pennsylvania. (I wouldn’t mind that.)

“You hit this one out of the park.” This is from Meidas Touch.

What has happened to Trump’s brain? Where is it? And will it ever come back? (The answer to THAT one is no.)

So yes, many on Twitter amused themselves by trying to come up with a new name. Of course, the name of the state isn’t going anywhere and will be called Pennsylvania now and in the future.

But this shows that nobody really knows what the next word out of Trump’s ‘s mouth will be. Perhaps he will start worrying about Wisconsin’s s name next or New Hampshire’s. Maybe he is so utterly nuts that he forgot Pennsylvania was a state at all. Perhaps he thought it was the name of one of his many attorneys.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.