Donald Trump’s moronic misstep

| 9:00 pm EST January 22, 2024
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It bears repeating that you can easily find recent examples of any Trump lie told or any Trump evil deed done or any Trump theft committed or any Trump boast made. There is no need to reach into the distant past to find an example of a Trump boneheadism or a Trump untruth or a Trump misdeed. They are always fresh and readily available today. Trump can’t make it past breakfast, let alone through a whole day, without doing or saying something thoroughly vile.

So any retelling of Trump’s transgressions must be necessarily summary. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. There are simply too many Trump crimes and misdemeanours, too many gaffs, to many vulgarities, too many screwups, to keep track of. The list was absurdly long five years ago.

For Obama, Hillary and Biden? It’s Birtherism, Benghazi and an occasionally bungled line. For Trump? I don’t know, what day is it? What time is it, for that matter? The Trump blunder production line is brisk and constant.

So when I write about Trump’s latest moronic misstep, I do so with a kind of tedious, weary familiarity. Ah, Trump claims he took another cognitive test “a few months ago,” claims he “aced” it. First of all, one doesn’t “ace” cognitive tests, one passes them. I am not going to brag that I know how many fingers you’re holding up or that I know who the President of the United States is, I’m going to breathe a sigh of relief. That’s good news. That means nothing significant is wrong with me, cognitively speaking. It’s not an IQ test.

Anyway, it’s a lie, right? Everyone’s clear on that, yes? Trump didn’t recently take a cognitive test. He made that up. Ho hum. Does anyone really believe that Trump would “ace” a cognitive test and not tell the world about it IMMEDIATELY? Of course not. Don’t be silly. It’s a story invented from whole cloth, like the general who comes up to him with tears in his eyes and says, “Sir!” I was born in the morning, but I wasn’t born THIS morning.

Apparently Trump invented this “aced cognitive test” crapola because he recently confused Nikki Haley with Nancy Pelosi, and Nikki Haley questioned whether Trump was mentally capable of taking office again. Pardon me while I yawn.

If you’re waiting for the magic misstep, the faux pas that will finally finish him off once and for all time, the proverbial camelback piece of straw, don’t waste your time. These Trumpian screwups exist exclusively for our light daily amusement. MAGA won’t even hear about them, and if by accident they should, they won’t care. Nothing — and I do mean NOTHING — is ever going to interrupt their visions of sugar Trumps dancing in their heads.

So we can go ahead and quote George Washington University or the Cleveland Clinic to “disprove” Trump’s made up boast about this latest cognitive test. In fact I think I will. In their post on cognitive testing, the Cleveland Clinic states, “a good score doesn’t necessarily mean there’s no brain impairment.” And there you are. Feel better? I know I do.

In the embarrassment of riches of Donald Trump screw ups we hope he’s moving closer to complete collapse. We need him to collapse because he’s dangerous. Stupid people take him seriously and there’s a shitload of stupid people out there. More than I dared to suspect eight years ago.

But I’m not exactly holding my breath, either. I don’t think any of this necessarily means that Trump’s collapse is imminent. Remember when, a couple of years ago, Vladimir Putin was on death’s doorstep? Well he’s still going strong, just like the goddamned Energizer Bunny. So don’t hold your breath.

No, I’m waiting for the criminal justice system to finish him off. I’m waiting for Jack Smith or Letitia James or even Alvin Bragg to put the bastard in prison and throw away the key. Maybe I’m just being starry-eyed? I don’t think so. We shall see. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.