Donald Trump’s last gasp is crashing and burning

| 10:30 am EST December 20, 2021
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Speculation is floating about that Donald Trump will soon be indicted. Could this speculation be true? I don’t know one way or another, but I certainly hope so. But what I do know is that the insurrectionist is not having a good week — not at all.

Putting aside the fact that Trump appears to be emotionally disintegrating in real-time, there is that pesky business of the tickets. What tickets are those? I refer to tickets for the insurrectionist’s Floridian rally with fellow partner in slime Bill O’Reilly.

Both these two men encapsulate perfectly the term has-been, and both found this out for themselves at their latest non-event. I am sure the two fading wanna-be-stars had expected so much more. Perhaps their rallies would once again catapult them into the spotlight. All they would need to do is sell the “golden tickets.”

There were 20,000 available tickets. Oh, what fun! One can never have too many admirers. Surely the golden tickets would sell out in an hour — surely they would — right? Sigh. As The Rolling Stones have said, “you can’t always get what you want.”

The valuable golden tickets shriveled up into shrunken pennies. How many do you imagine were sold?

Perhaps — 12,000? Perhaps 10,000? Nope. Most of these coveted tickets still sit ready for a rally that is long over. A mere 5,406 tickets were sold. This is out of 20,000. It looks like the only ones coveting the golden tickets were the two has-beens themselves.

How sad! How desolate the two must have felt. And how depressing indeed that rally must have been. Luckily none of us were a part of it. On the plus side, at least it’s over. Perhaps the insurrectionist and disgraced ex-Fox host should start offering freebies. I wonder if even that could lure people to their rallies of misery.