Donald Trump’s big “campaign” trip falls flat

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Allow me friends and readers, to tell you a bedtime story. It’s a story that will simultaneously amaze, dismay, and horrify you. It is the story of a long journey made by an orange traitor. It is the wild tale of a sociopath and malignant narcissist who was attempting to convince the world he is NOT a sociopath and malignant narcissist.

It is the story of “Mr. Trump goes to East Palestine Ohio.” As millions took cover and prepared for icy blasts of snow, Trump was on a mission — to flood the news media into breathlessly covering his futile journey. Only they didn’t. Not even Fox non-news covered it. And it’s a good thing, too, because this visit was pure Trump, and that is most definitely NOT a compliment.

First off, Trump was the one who put an end to a regulation requiring new breaks on oil trains. So there’s that. Then there’s the fact that Trump reportedly donated thousands of water bottles. How sweet! Yay! Or not.

You see, Trump water does not exist. It was discontinued in the year 2010. And these bottles featured those words. So exactly how old WAS this water? Then Trump told residents of east Palestine to “have a good time.”

“Have fun, everybody.” Say WHAT? Following his failed visit, Trump then decided he wanted McDonald’s. Will it be cheeseburgers? Perhaps chicken nuggets? Well — evidently, Trump had something ELSE on his mind — starting an argument with McDonald’s workers.

“I know this menu better than you do,” the man who actually – ACTUALLY — was President for four awful years said. “I probably know it better than anybody in here.” Cringe. I hope the man left these hard workers a tip, at least. “Knock it out fast for us…we’ll be eating on the plane back.” So yes, this has been a tale of failure. It’s ALWAYS failure where Trump’s concerned.