Donald Trump reduced to begging

| 6:00 pm EDT September 9, 2024
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

This article is about Donald Trump, but it is two-fold. I will explain. I try to read the comment section when I can. I have noticed new Palmer Report readers, a few of whom have suggested a fun game: finding nicknames for Donald Trump. I will make you aware that we did this once. Extremely creative Palmer Report readers suggested all sorts of nicknames. Assolini won, and it won by a large margin. But that is far from the ONLY creative nickname. For your amusement, I shall use some of the best of them while reporting on this story.

On Wednesday, during an event with Sean Hannity, Donnie Two Scoops descended into a state of mind that is extremely rare for Putin’s poodle — the state of begging. As he melted down and melted down HARD, The chief operating officer of insurrections began to beg for people’s votes. Mar-a-Lard-ass had the following to say:

“You can’t take the chance,” Shart Cannon pleaded. “You can’t take the chance.” “You’ve got to vote for me,” IQ4.5 said pleadingly to America. “Even if you don’t like me,” Mango Mussolini said emphatically. “You can sit there and say I can’t stand that guy, but there’s no way I’m going to vote for her,” Groper Cleveland finished breathlessly.

Wow. The cheese that stands alone sure sounds desperate. Has it REALLY come to this for Donnie-do Little? Is he reduced to BEGGING? How sad for the tangerine scream. His campaign surely cannot be going that great if Darth Traitor has to do THIS. Perhaps during the debate, old smeller will start begging the millions of people tuning in to vote for him no matter how offensive, disgusting, and nauseating they find Cheeto Benito.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.