Donald Trump looks like a corpse

| 10:00 pm EST January 28, 2024
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A world without laughter is like a canvas without color. Laughter is very much needed to provide brightness, and joy. Right now, my friends, there is much laughter going on, and this laughter is aimed squarely at our mentally incompetent, criminal traitor, Donald Trump.

So, what has Trump done to merit this laughter? Well– Trump is apparently following in the footsteps of his friend Rudy Giuliani, in that his face seems to be melting. Not literally, of course. But you see, a photo has surfaced.

A photo has surfaced, and it’s of Donald John Trump — in full regalia — meaning his face appeared to be painted in vivid and repelling patches of makeup — dripping off his face.

“Like a dirty old shoe.” This photo was reportedly taken in Iowa, where he had been campaigning. And faster than one could say ooze, Twitter had laid their eyes upon it.

Now Donald Trump should NEVER have let himself be photographed in this condition. He should know Twitter. He should know that Twitter is one big jolly BALL of laughter — and they never met a disgusting Trump image they didn’t love. So it’s really Trump’s fault that this situation is happening.

Howls of laughter are oozing from Twitter. Many remarked that Trump “clearly needs someone at Sephora to teach him about undertones.” Others just laughed and howled, and I must admit it IS sort of funny — in a gross kind of way.

“Dirty old shoe.”

“He needs less foundation.”

The Lincoln Project posted on Twitter asking people to “name this foundation shade.”

Over and over, photos of Trump in his ridiculous makeup were retweeted — with some saying perhaps Trump’s mental health is to blame for the corrosive image.

“Maybe he actually thinks he looks hot.” one person reasoned. “Eww – imagine how he must STINK with that stuff festering on his face,” said another.

Trump could use some cleansing oil to get the disgusting stuff off of his face, and he could also really use a piece of paper towel to wipe the dripping slime away.

So yes, this has been the story of a coiffed, powdered, and oozing orange cretin. I do hope you enjoyed reading this news story as much as I enjoyed writing it.