Donald Trump just can’t find what he’s looking for

Donald Trump, when he’s not posting on Truth Social, calling people names, and comparing himself to a lion, AND George Washington, is on the hunt. He’s on the hunt for a fake vice president for his phony campaign.

It must be someone “Television ready,” Trump’s reportedly said. And it must be someone loyal. And — Mr. Trump reportedly wants a female. Hmm. So what options are available to our orange coward? Not many.

The selection process automatically leaves out anybody sane. That’s because nobody in their right mind would want the fake job. So whoever could it be? Well — reportedly, there are a few motley choices.

Kari Lake! These two really would be a match in heaven. Together they could cross the Rubicon, hand in hand, babbling about fake elections and how wronged they are. Together they could bore the American people to death.

But Lake is a controversial pick. Surely SOMEONE with a grain of sanity would try to talk Trump out of it. Nikki Haley, then? She’s only running for VP anyway. Most know that. But Haley committed a Trump sin. On one of her “I’m against Trump”, days,” she dared to criticize him! I doubt Trump will pick her as his ego will not let him.

Sara Huckabee Sanders? Her name is mentioned. Completely charisma-less, Sanders might not be too controversial a pick, although she’d do absolutely nothing for him. Marjorie Taylor Greene? This is whom I hope Trump picks. Why? Because she’s the craziest of all. I want crazy. I demand crazy in this fake trump candidacy. Because once MORE of the American people get a load of Greene, his poll numbers will fall even more.

Governor Noem of South Dakota? This wouldn’t surprise me. The woman who just yelled, “I am the NRA” might be a good pick for him. Some Maga boys seem to be crushing on her. I could see this.

Josh Hawley? Some say Trump admires Hawley, and that his name is in the mix. He’s not a woman, so who knows where that will go?

In the meantime, Twitter has wittily added a few names. Kellyanne Conway, Judge Jeanine, Megyn Kelly, George Santos, and Marcia Blackburn have been bandied around social media as possible picks.

Who knows with Trump? But he’s on the hunt and looking for the right person to join him on his game, his go-nowhere quest for the presidency.