Deranged assclown Donald Trump inexplicably declares “All is well!” in middle of military conflict with Iran

| 10:01 pm EST January 7, 2020
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Just how far gone is Donald Trump? Iran fired missiles at an Iraqi military base that houses U.S. troops tonight, and Trump isn’t even giving a televised address. His handlers are clearly afraid to let him read prepared remarks off a teleprompter, without screwing it up or going off the rails.

Instead, Donald Trump has decided to address the nation by tweet. That’s not necessarily surprising, considering his nature. But it’s still absurd. For that matter, the tweet itself is even more bizarre than one might have expected. Here’s what Trump decided to tell the nation on Twitter tonight:

All is well! Missiles launched from Iran at two military bases located in Iraq. Assessment of casualties & damages taking place now. So far, so good! We have the most powerful and well equipped military anywhere in the world, by far! I will be making a statement tomorrow morning.

No, all is not well, you deranged assclown. Iran is running roughshod over the United States right now. Iraqi soldiers have reportedly been killed in this attack. Also, if Trump is still assessing casualties, it’s incredibly inappropriate to say something like “so far, so good.” There are almost no words for how messed up this tweet is. His statement in the morning should be his resignation.