Now we know why Rudy Giuliani keeps butt-dialing people

| 6:20 pm EDT October 31, 2019
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It’s never good form to kick a man while he’s down. Unless that man is Rudy Giuliani, and he helped Donald Trump commit treason against the United States, in which case continuing to kick him is the patriotic thing to do. We all know Rudy has had some, ahem, trouble with his phone of late. It turns out he’s even more of a screw-up than we thought.

It’s not just that Rudy Giuliani keeps accidentally butt-dialing reporters and incriminating his associates by name while admitting he needs money for his latest scam. Come to think of it, just how hard is it to butt-dial from an iPhone? You’d have to put it in your back pocket with the screen still turned on, and then… we don’t even want to think that much about Rudy’s butt. In any case, we now have some more insight about just how inept Rudy is with his iPhone.

Back in 2017, Rudy Giuliani had to go to the Apple Store for help after he locked himself out of his iPhone by typing in the wrong password ten times in a row, according to a surreal new report from NBC News. This kind of thing happens. Not everyone is good with technology. If you’re just an ordinary average American, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But it is something to be embarrassed about if it happens right after you’ve just been named the cybersecurity adviser to the President of the United States, which was the case with Rudy Giuliani.

It’s not that anyone ever believed Rudy Giuliani was in there helping the Trump White House set up any kind of cybersecurity. We all knew all along that Donald Trump only put Rudy in the position so he could facilitate something nefarious with international hackers or some other similar plot. This incident with Rudy frantically locking himself out of his own iPhone only serves to underscore the suspicious nature of his appointment as “cybersecurity” czar to begin with. Also it explains why he keeps butt-dialing people. He’s not just bad at using his phone, he’s frantically bad at it.