Boris Johnson’s happiest day

| 7:00 pm EDT March 21, 2022
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It’s sometimes said, and not without justification, that December 7th, 1941, was the happiest day of Winston Churchill’s life. As a consummate politician and strategist, Churchill understood immediately that the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor presaged American entry into the war: first in the Asian then in the European theatre. It was at that precise instant that he knew that Britain, and therefore he, were saved.

One might say something similar about February 24th, 2022 and Boris Johnson. Johnson, not even half as clever a man as Churchill, must have nevertheless realised that the events of that day, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, meant he would probably never again have to face another serious question about “Partygate,” his latest scandal. Whether or not the prime minister thought his personal political salvation was worth the death and destruction of many of the Ukrainian people no one can say for sure. But Boris is enough of a solipsist to think that way, and I am enough of a cynic to believe it’s possible.

Whatever the case, not only does Johnson not have to resign but he can now play the role of “the Great Man in a time of crisis,” just as his hero Churchill did. As Churchill’s biographer, few prime ministers in recent history understand the portent of recent times better than Johnson. People are scared, and Boris can now be their magnanimous source of comfort. What a political turnaround! In the wink of an eye he has cast off his personal Gallipoli. Boris is back!

He hasn’t as of yet given his “finest hour” speech, but give him time. Meanwhile Boris has his own theory about the daemons driving Putin. He thinks it isn’t so much Putin’s fear of Ukraine joining NATO as it is Ukraine’s increasingly free and democratic government. “I think he was frightened of Ukraine for an entirely different reason,” Johnson said at the recent Conservative Party conference in Blackpool, “He was frightened of Ukraine because in Ukraine they have a free press and in Ukraine they have free elections.”

Well, maybe that’s not an “entirely” different reason, but Boris may nevertheless be onto something. Throughout Putin’s unconstitutional reign there has always been dissent in the ranks and disparate elements in opposition to him. The climate of rebellion inside Russia has meant that at no point has Putin been able to enjoy his power entirely free of apprehension.

Putin has, of course, murdered many of his political and journalistic opponents. He has also attempted to murder the head of the political opposition Alexei Navalny. Because he is a sociopathic monster, murder is a thing that bothers Vladimir Putin not at all. He isn’t kept awake at night by bombing schools and hospitals either, for that matter.

Of course, whatever it is that makes Putin think invading Ukraine is a good idea, it’s pretty clear he still thinks it. Whatever the case I’m sure Boris Johnson has never been happier. His smug satisfaction is in evidence every time you turn on the TV news. It’s at those times I only wish I could be one of those TV reporters. I would make it a point to ask him, “You do realise, prime minister, that as soon as this crisis in Ukraine is over you’re still going to have to answer for Partygate, do you not?” I’m sure I don’t believe that but it would be nice to ask it anyway. If only to watch his face fall. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.