Bon voyage Steve Bannon!

| 9:00 pm EDT June 29, 2024
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This is a farewell article. Farewell, my dear criminal, Stephen Bannon, Farewell. The extreme court has just denied Bannon’s motion to escape prison. He’s. Out. of. options. Goodbye, Stevie — for now. Something tells me Mr. Orange Jumpsuit is not a happy man at this moment.

Farewell, Stevie. May you have fair winds and following seas as you sail away to your new home in Connecticut. Connecticut is such a lovely state. It has many beaches, but poor Stevie will not get to see them. “The application for release pending appeal presented to the Chief Justice and by him referred to the Court is DENIED.”

Denied, denied, denied. Only one sentence? It appears so. I guess you just aren’t important enough to warrant more little Stevie-oh. Now, don’t be a coward, Stevie! Accept your fate with dignity. Try to make friends with other prisoners and enjoy the food offerings the clink chooses to feed you.

July 1, July 1, July 1. It is coming up quickly, my dear Stevie, like a tornado, whirling and skipping and then—blink—picking you up and carrying you up, up and away! Au revoir, darling insurrection supporter! Perhaps your mealy-mouthed orange friend will come for visiting day. Nah. Probably not.

See you later, grubby alligator. Oh, Stevie, no! The election! It will continue without your growls, roars, and ear-piercing screams. So, as I wind down this article, I wish ole Stevie luck, I wish him joy, I wish him a kind cellmate, a jumpsuit that fits, ever-watchful correctional officers, and a whale of a time in the clink. Hasta la vista, Stevie.