Bon voyage Steve Bannon!

| 9:19 pm EDT June 6, 2024
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The gently lapping, brightly sparkling lake of Steve Bannon’s tears has never seen higher water levels. Oh, how wonderful it is, dear readers, that Steve Bannon is soon to be up, up and away — to prison.

As Bill Palmer has laid out for you, the Judge in this case has said Bannon must report to prison by July 1. I think the Fourth of July fireworks will be exceptionally bright and beautiful this year, yes?

But Bannon did not take the news well. He went nuts as cowards, and bullies are wont to do. Bannon is also developing some of convicted felon Donald Trump’s more creepy habits. For example, Bannon made some comments and slipped into referring to himself in the third person, a terrifying way of communicating, and something Trump does all the time..

Like asshole, like asshole, I suppose. “They’re not going to shut up Trump,” a seemingly enraged Bannon shrieked on the court steps. “They’re not going to shut up Peter Navarro.”
Where did THAT come from? It seems that Pete has been shut up, at least temporarily. “They’e not going to shut up Bannon.”

Stevie, please refrain from referring to yourself in the third person. I KNOW it must suck to be you. I understand that fact. But this is not a mentally sane way to speak. “They’re certainly not going to shut up MAGA.” Little Stevie, it seems MAGA has been making less and less noise. Perhaps some of them have gone back to their underground, repelling abodes. What do you think?

“There’s nothing that can shut me up,” the moron continued to yell and whine. “There’s no prison built or a jail that will ever shut me up.” I wonder. It seems Bannon is trying to channel Jesse James. You remember him, yes? That outlaw and train robber? I do not think Bannon is any Jesse James.

What he is is a sort of child in a man’s grimy body, all grown up in all his chaotic and disheveled form but with a brain that is nothing more than one overconfident and underused whippersnapper of a brain who lives for angry moments such as these. Before I close this delicious article, allow me to address Mr. “Nobody can stop me”, directly.

Dear Stevie: I don’t think orange is your color, but it will be for at least a few months. Happy travels!