Bon voyage, Donald Trump!

| 12:01 pm EDT March 27, 2023
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

Ciao, Donald. The other night I did something I should not have. I listened to Donald Trump’s rally — from beginning to end. It was the first time I had done so, believe it or not. Oh, I’d seen snippets of many rallies before. But never had I actually WATCHED one from beginning to end.

And I thought a story might be there –a story to tell all of you. Perhaps, I mused, Donald Trump would claim to be Superman. Perhaps he’d brag about being able to change into a lion while on stage. Perhaps he’d get sued — by yet another person who had fallen for one of his schemes. Perhaps he’d even order McDonald’s for himself and graciously offer some to his fans.

Just kidding. Donald Trump would never share things — not even a Big Mac. I saw none of that. What DID I see? I couldn’t tell you. This is because I began to experience a slight problem — my eyes would not stay open.

As the traitor droned on and on, my eyes began to experience a certain heaviness. The yawns began in earnest. The following day? I have no idea WHAT he actually said besides talking about how great he was and how firm his shoulders are.

But there was one thing that happened. And that is what promoted the word “Ciao” to reverberate in my tired brain. Donald fans began leaving. It was about thirty minutes in. And the crowd was dimming.

Mike Copeland of the Tribune-Herald said it best: “About 30 minutes into the rally, the crowd began to thin, with people getting a head start on the walk back to the parking lots.”

Tired and hungry is what some told Copeland they were. And — dare I say it — bored? How could they not have been? I’ll give trump this; he’s better than Melatonin. When he speaks — people snooze.

So this was the rally to end all rallies, the bigliest rally. This was what we’d heard about all week long. At the end of the day, it was a small and piddling event, with a carnival barker barking out bad jokes and self-complimenting himself.

It was a carnival of fools, a tiny portion of the unwashed public standing in a lone and ghoulish field listening to a bedraggled, scruffy garbage man spewing forth washed-out rhetoric to an audience of tired wanna-be renegades. It was a joke of a speech, with many happily piling into their vehicles and leaving a half hour in. That is what it was. Cia Donald Trump.