Ben Carson goes berserk about Brett Kavanaugh

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Yes, we already know what you’re going to say about the title of this article: Ben Carson can’t go berserk, because he’s always been berserk. You’re right, of course, but then that’s something of the point. During the 2016 election, it became painfully clear that Carson is a severely mentally incompetent person with almost no awareness of the real world. Almost shockingly, in the year and a half that he’s been in Donald Trump’s cabinet, he’s been one of the less controversial members of Team Trump, if only because he’s mostly kept quiet. That just changed in a big, and stupefying, way.

In case the general chaos of 2017 and 2018 has understandably caused you to lose track of the Ben Carson story, he’s the one who claimed that he had stabbed his friend with a knife, only for that story to fall apart. That’s right, he was apparently only pretending to have tried to murder a guy. He said that Joseph from the Bible used the Egyptian Pyramids to store grain, a claim that left even most religious people scratching their heads. He was also heavily involved in a pyramid scheme for good measure. Carson once claimed during a presidential debate that 15% was half of 20%, and we’re pretty sure he meant it.

Ben Carson has been so quiet lately, we honestly thought he’d been asleep all this time. But while it’s surprising that he’s suddenly weighing in on the Brett Kavanaugh attempted rape scandal, it’s not surprising that his theory is almost too far over the top to quantify. Instead we’ll just give you what Carson said about the accusations against Kavanaugh: “There have been people in this country for a very long time, going all the way back to the Fabians, people who’ve wanted to fundamentally change this country.” No, really. That’s his explanation. The Fabians were a British socialist organization. They’re also a current rock band. Knowing Carson, could be referring to either.

This is what Ben Carson actually said, in public, to an audience, apparently without having tripped and hit his head on a blunt object first, at the Values Voter Summit, according to CNN. Then again, these “values voters” are the ones who want to put an alleged attempted rapist, with an apparent gambling problem and an alcohol problem, who is also a pathological liar, on the Supreme Court. So it’s not as if anything coming from their side of the fence can be expected to make any sense.