A brief history of stupid

| 12:01 pm EDT April 30, 2020
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The irritation I feel toward individual diehard Bernie Sanders supporters lodging their self-immolating protests with their “write-in Bernie” votes shrinks to insignificance next to my loathing for a certain late coming, wouldbe spoiler candidate. If you’ve always wondered what the canonical “Atlas Shrugged” thumping, Libertarian idiot looks like, wonder no more: friends and neighbors I give you Justin Amash. As in, he will make a mash of it just in time — if we let him.

If you were finally getting comfortable with the idea that Trump’s chances in the swing states were finally narrow enough so you could sleep again at night, here comes the one man scary movie with a giant pot of coffee. Justin Amash is running as the Libertarian “alternative” candidate to Joe Biden and, presumably, the child rapist murderer Donald Trump. And since Amash is an ultra rightwing alternative candidate, he’s going to attract rightwing voters who can no longer stomach Donald Trump. So, despite Amash’s avowal that he dislikes Trump and is running against him, he either knows perfectly well that his candidacy will help Trump or he’s a complete idiot.

Now, I don’t want to mention any names (Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, Gary Johnson) but didn’t we just leave this party? Have we learned nothing? Giving this candidate oxygen is like giving oxygen to a fire that’s burning our house down. Wow, do we ever not need this pathetic asshole right now.

So here we go again. The five pillars of the last election disaster, the Russians, Bernie Sanders, the overblown Hillary Clinton email nontroversy and James Comey’s criminally-timed announcement of a new investigation into that nontroversy, and various alternative candidates, — gave us Donald Trump the first time. Let’s not let this idiot Amash help the child raping murderer to a second term. Let’s show the rest of the science-denying world of drooling cretins and boneheads that we mean business, that we really have learned our collective lesson and will not be fooled a second time.

A recent emerging narrative — and I hope you’re sitting down right now because you’re not going to believe this — is that, because the polls “got it wrong” last time then they are getting it wrong this time. In other words, because most polls and pundits thought Hillary was going to win last time and she didn’t, the same polls and pundits who think Biden is going to win this time are also wrong. In other words, once a fluke happens it will keep happening forever. Once lightning strikes a certain spot it will keep striving there forever. That’s not logic, that’s superstition. That’s “reasoning” right out of the Dark Ages.

We are the party of science and rational thinking. We are the party that knows right from wrong. We are the party that tabulated the seventeen thousand lies of Donald Trump, that knows that putting children in cages is a moral effrontery, that believes no one is above the law, that knows that masks, gloves, social distancing and sheltering at home are the only tools we have right now against coronavirus. We are the party that believes not in dictators but in the Constitution. So vote for Biden in November and let’s get back to solving the many problems we must address or perish. Failure is not an option. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.