Say hello to Donald Trump’s latest alias “David Dennison”

| 11:55 pm EST March 6, 2018
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Who on earth is David Dennison? Hint: he’s sitting in the White House right now, eating a Big Mac while watching Fox News, and thinking about the next idiotic thing he’s going to post on Twitter. That’s right, Donald Trump has yet another alias to his credit. The guy who brought you “John Barron” and “John Miller” has been caught using yet another alias, and this one was for kinky reasons.

When Donald Trump decided to pay off Stormy Daniels just before election day to keep her quiet about their affair, they jointly crafted a nondisclosure agreement. In that document, Trump repeatedly referred to himself as David Dennison, according to NBC News (link). It’s not that shocking to learn that someone, particularly a public figure, used an alias while trying to cover up an affair. In fact Daniels (real name Stephanie Clifford) referred to herself as “Peggy Peterson” in that same document. But considering Trump’s embarrassing history with aliases, “David Dennison” is a notable new persona.

During the election it was revealed that Donald Trump used to call up reporters and pretend to be his own imaginary publicist, who at times was named John Miller and at other times was named John Barron. The reporters always knew it was Trump speaking in a fake voice and using a fake name, but they played along, in the hope that Trump would give something away that they could use.

Donald Trump also blamed multiple gaffes over the years on his supposed in-house speechwriter and researcher Meredith McIver, but the media has had a heck of a time trying to figure out whether she’s real either, considering that she’s never been seen in public, doesn’t exist in the public record beyond a few questionably sourced Broadway play credits, and no one but Trump pal Piers Morgan has ever claimed to have even spoken with her. Then again, maybe “David Dennison” can introduce us to “Meredith McIver” someday.