Donald Trump’s “closing argument” just backfired spectacularly

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When an elderly candidate is collapsing in a dementia riddled haze and resorting to canceling numerous events with two weeks left in the election, the campaign is doing itself no favors by admitting that the candidate is “exhausted.” Nor did the Donald Trump campaign do him any favors by billing his Pennsylvania rally speech on Saturday as his “closing argument.”

Why would a candidate be giving a “closing argument” with two full weeks still to go? Given that Trump increasingly looks and sounds like he may not even make it to election day, the whole thing came off as ominous. Was this their way of suggesting that Trump would be disappearing entirely for the next two weeks after his Pennsylvania speech?

In any case, Trump spent his “closing argument” on Saturday talking mainly about… Arnold Palmer. That was senile enough, before Trump got to the part where he began talking glowingly about the size of Arnold Palmer’s dick. No really, this happened. Trump even specifically talked about how when Arnold Palmer would shower with other golfers, they’d all leave the shower impressed with Palmer’s dick.

Why would Trump even know that? You know what, forget it. I don’t want to know. But when you’re running for President of the United States, and your self-professed “closing argument” is what Trump just did, then you are forfeiting. You’re not just forfeiting the election, you’re forfeiting your status as a functioning adult. But then that’s the problem for Trump. He’s so far gone, he doesn’t understand that he’s actively throwing his life away by punting on the election like this. That’s what dementia does to a person.

Now Trump’s handlers have a difficult series of decisions to make. The “closing argument” line suggests that even before Saturday’s rally, they were considering shutting him down in swing states. Now that he’s gone out and somehow underperformed his own babysitters’ rock-bottom expectations, will they bench him entirely? Trump’s rallies aren’t gaining him any votes on the ground, and they’re almost surely costing him votes as the news of his mental incompetence spreads to persuadable voters. So perhaps this was indeed his swan song. Who knows? In a way, it doesn’t matter anymore.

As I keep pointing out, just because Trump is actively forfeiting the election, it doesn’t mean he’s going to lose. Presidential elections have a way of always being fairly close even when they’re not. You win the popular vote by five points, it’s considered a blowout. You win the popular vote by three points, you can lose the electoral college.

It’s still up to us to keep working, keep fighting, and keep donating all the way to the finish line. But let’s take a moment to be thankful about how badly Trump is falling apart down the stretch.