What the bleep was that?

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

When news broke that Donald Trump was doing a press conference today, this writer indeed was excited. Perhaps, I mused, Trump would screw up and say a few absurd things. After all, that is one thing we can ALWAYS count on the felon for, right? I was wrong.

The whole damn press conference was one stupid thing. Trump hobbled onto that podium and talked — and talked — and rambled and snarled — brain unhinged, jumping from one subject to another, utterly untethered to reality as many saw for themselves.

Trump has this unique way of turning a room into a depressing gray space. Have you ever noticed that? He drains energy, stifles joy, and creates a hate-safe space void of color except for an ugly gray Trump cubicle of doom.

Anyway — Trump told so many lies that it would be impossible to list them all. Here are a few for your reading pleasure. Whining like a red-faced, squirming brat, Trump declared he had the biggest crowds EVER to hear his speeches — more significant even than Martin Luther King Junior!!

Trump, in some sort of competition with King only he can understand, described how much more popular HE is than King, undoubtedly assuring he loses even MORE black voters (if that’s possible).

Trump also whined about January 6, saying the dishonest media refused to cover his crowd size that day. My opinion is the media had other more important things to cover that day, such as the maniacs in the Capitol who wanted to hang the traitor’s vice president.

Trump claimed EVERYONE, including Democrats, wanted the abortion issue to go back to the States.I won’t really dignify it with much of an answer. Georgia was stolen from him! How the traitor mused, could he win Alabama and South Carolina but not Georgia? The answer to that question is in BOOKS, but since Trump doesn’t or can’t read, that is no help.

Calling the media dishonest, Trump claimed Kamala had only around 2000 people at her events, which caused this writer to giggle uncontrollably as the mega-moron rambled on — and on — and on—and on—and on. Trump insulted Governor Josh Shapiro of Pennsylvania, who has an approval rate in the sixties. Way to win PA, Donny!

Trump once again claimed he won the his Florida case and called Judge Cannon brilliant. I wondered if I would ever be able to write this article because I had to wait for the laughter to stop.

“People can’t buy bacon,” the traitor screeched. It’s too expensive. Now, BACON is something this writer knows all about. It happens to be one of my favorite foods, and I buy it regularly. WHY is Trump rambling about BACON? Perhaps his imaginary friend Hannibal Lecter told him to.

Trump also looked upset. When he started this thing, it seemed he was almost sounding tearful. His voice shook a bit. He did not sound OK, but then he never does. His face was red as a giant sunburn. All in all, this presser was no help to the traitor, but what it DID do was provide us with a bit of entertainment to start the afternoon.