Mike Johnson’s evil scheme

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The least considered and seldom mentioned casualties of conspiracy theorists are their human victims. The great American Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk upon the moon, is relentlessly plagued by fools who insist he’s a liar. The now elderly Mrs Ruth Paine, a kindly and wise woman who, out of earnest charity, once helped the impoverished wife of Lee Harvey Oswald, is constantly falsely accused by idiots of being complicit in the murder of John F Kennedy.

Dr Anthony Fauci, former Georgia election workers Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman, former members of the administration of George W Bush, employees of NASA, the list of human victims of preposterous conspiracy theories goes on and on. These people must constantly fend off verbal attacks, assaults on their character and even death threats because stupid people believe stupid and asinine things — without a scintilla of evidence. Sometimes the victims are an entire race of human beings. Survivors of Nazi death camps and their descendants are endlessly revictimized by Holocaust deniers.

Which brings me to one of the most evil and despicable conspiracy theories of recent rediscovery. As far as I am aware, no one in the press or social media has breathed a word of the potential in human tragedy this newly resurrected conspiracy theory could cause. And it was given brand new wings by one of the most casually amoral and vapid examples of the banality of evil, speaker of the house Mike Johnson.

In front of the Capitol this week, Speaker Johnson warned that non-US citizens — what he despicably referred to as “illegals” — voting in the November election represent a “clear and present danger.” In response Johnson has proposed new federal legislation to make it illegal. There’s just one problem: it already is.

“We all know intuitively,” Johnson said, “that a lot of illegals are voting in federal elections but it’s not been something that is easily provable. We don’t have that number.” In other words, there is absolutely no evidence that a lot of “illegals” are voting in federal elections, but we all know it’s true — “intuitively.”

We know no such thing. In fact, it’s almost certainly untrue that any noncitizens are voting or have voted in federal elections. First, let’s make a distinction here. Not all non-US citizens living in the United States are there illegally. Most are not. But in either case, the last thing they would want to do is rock their own boats by getting involved in voter fraud.

I’m speaking from personal experience here. I am an American citizen living legally as a permanent resident of the United Kingdom. I enjoy all the rights of any British citizen with two exceptions. I cannot join the British armed forces and I cannot vote in British elections. The last thing on earth I would want to do would be to attempt to fraudulently vote here. I would almost certainly be deported if I tried, which would be a personal tragedy to me of unequalled proportions.

What’s more, if anyone approached me with a scheme to do so I would instantly and loudly renounce them — to the press, to the police, to the British government. I find the idea both dangerous to my continued residence here and deeply morally objectionable. Therefore no new laws need be proposed to stop me. My repulsion at the idea of participating in such an idiotic scheme would be magnified a thousand times were I living here unlawfully.

The idea that “millions” of “illegals” are voting in America is preposterous. It simply doesn’t happen. Or if it ever did happen it would unquestionably be so rare as to be absurd that anyone in the United States Congress would worry about it for one tenth of a second. But it just doesn’t happen. And we know that — “intuitively.”

What Johnson is doing is clear. He’s once again scapegoating foreigners living in the United States. He’s setting them up to be the fall guys if Trump loses in November, as he almost certainly will. His devotion to this new legislation is completely unserious. In fact, he probably secretly hopes that the legislation never passes. That way he can give a big fat “I told you so” to anyone listening when Trump loses in November.

It’s an insidious and wicked plan to blame innocent people for the failure of Donald Trump. Johnson was already one of the most despicable people on the planet. This latest gimmick, to blame a whole innocent race of voiceless people for Republican corruption, is vile beyond comparison. Johnson is the personification of the lowest form of insectile wickedness. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

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