Another thing to take away from Rudy Giuliani

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I’ll be the first to admit it, like the guy who doesn’t think much of the Oscars, I hold the British “honours system” in the same disdain as the guy who doesn’t have one. Anyway, recently my contempt has been given new wings. I just learned that Rudy Giuliani has an honorary British knighthood.

Rudy received his knighthood in 2002 from Queen Elizabeth II for the same alleged “heroism” for which he acquired the informal title “America’s Mayor.” It was just another overrated reaction to Rudy’s work immediately following the events of September 11, 2001. It really boiled down to his having made a couple of moving speeches at a time when Americans were particularly susceptible to being moved.

Specifically, Rudy has a KBE, that is, a Knight Commander of the British Empire, one of the highest of honours bestowed in Britain. It’s the same honour Paul McCartney has. Only because he isn’t a British citizen, unlike Sir Paul, Rudy cannot be styled “Sir Rudy.” (Imagine how insufferable he’d be were it otherwise.) But he does have the official right to use the post-nominal “KBE.”

Anyway, there’s talk of rescinding Rudy’s KBE, and I’m all for it. I’m all for it because of Rudy’s traitorous attempt to overthrow the American government. In my view it’s an extension of the fourteenth amendment. Not only should anyone not be allowed to run for public office if they participate in an insurrection, all honours should be withdrawn as well. September 11th giveth, January 6th taketh away.

All of which is to wonder, “So what?” When many people today refer to Rudy Giuliani as “America’s Mayor” they do so with a certain acid sarcasm anyway. A dumpster by any other name would smell as foul. Who cares if it’s “Rudy Giuliani, KBE,” or not?

Well I do, for one. I do because Rudy does, and I want to strip him of all honours. I want to hurt and humiliate him further, because he’s evil, and because he’s unseemly in his boastfulness about 9/11. As President Biden once so famously put it, everything about Rudy boils down to three things, “A noun, a verb and 9/11.”

Besides, there are too many good Americans out there who go unrecognised for their genuine goodness, too many real heroes who have no honorary degrees or honorary knighthoods. Rudy is a preening little shit, a traitor, a murderer of the souls and reputations of two real American heroes, Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman. They deserve to be honoured. The only name Rudy deserves, apart from his own, is Mud.

That’s why I want them to take Rudy’s KBE away from him. I want the British government to do it before he dies in the infamy, penury and universal contempt he so richly deserves.

But does there exist a specific mechanism for doing this? It turns out there is. If Rudy is convicted of a crime for which he is sentenced to three or more months in prison, Rudy’s case will automatically go before the British “forfeiture committee.” I know, the Brits have a committee for everything. Anyway, they will decide the fate of Rudy’s KBE.

It all has to happen before Giuliani dies, however. Such honorifics are handed out under the same terms as life peerages. A life peerage instantly evaporates the second the recipient dies. It would be like the case of the infamous British paedophile “Sir” Jimmy Savile. Many people wanted to retroactively remove his knighthood. But it was technically gone when he died so there was nothing to remove.

So for what it’s worth, for next Christmas, among other things, I’d like to see Rudy Giuliani in prison and stripped of his KBE. It’s a small thing, I know, but after having to endure vicarious abuse for years at the hands of this toxic, hateful, psychotic little bastard, it is a thing much to be desired. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

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