There’s nothing there

Donald Trump’s Fulton County co-defendants just keep filing for speedy trials, separate trials, and anything else they can think to file for. It’s set off even more speculation than ever about what they must be up to. After all, they must have some kind of secret plan, right? But I’m going to tell you a secret: there is no secret.

I know that I could try to make myself look clever by claiming to have cracked the code of what Trump’s co-defendants are up to. I could then go viral on social media, and maybe even get myself a TV booking, by “sounding the alarm” about how Trump and his people are secretly three steps ahead of us thanks to these court filings. But that’s just not what’s going on here.

I know I touched on this topic when Trump’s co-defendants first began making these kinds of filings several days ago. But now that these filings are continuing, the media and pundit hype surrounding the filings is reaching something of a fevered pitch. I think it’s more important than ever that we all take a moment to step back and remind ourselves that when it comes to Trump and his goons, there’s nothing there.

We’re talking about a guy who mistakenly held a press conference in the parking lot of a landscaping store. We’re talking about the Kraken lady. We’re talking about a music publicist who tried and failed to impersonate the government. These people are IDIOTS. They’ve always been idiots. They’re not suddenly smart now.

More to the point, they’re not merely your average idiots. These are that special breed of idiots who are so far removed from coherent thought, they think that their own incoherence makes them smarter than everyone. And so just as they confidently did completely incoherent things throughout this crime spree, they’re confidently doing completely incoherent things in response to their arrests.

Racketeering laws aren’t made of porcelain. They can’t be magically thwarted with something as simplistic as a court filing by a co-defendant. If that were the case, no one in Georgia would ever go down for racketeering. But if you look at the history, just about everyone who’s charged with racketeering in Georgia ends up going down. There are no magic court filings that make the case fall apart. The kicker is that Trump and his goons seem to think they’re so much smarter than everyone else, they alone have figured out how to magically make a racketeering case go away. They’re that far removed from reality.

Our side very often makes the mistake of assigning way too much credit to the dipshits on the other side. No matter how clearly inept, clearly clueless, and clearly incapable someone on the other side might be, we still trip over each other to declare the most hyperbolically that those idiots have us right where they want us. Everyone on our side “sounds the alarm” about how the other side is about to defeat us with this or that magic wand. Then we all sit there helpless, pretending we’re being “vigilant” by sitting around in paralyzed fear.

Fortunately, I can see that more and more of you are refusing to fall for this kind of learned helplessness. You’re looking at the fact that Trump and his co-defendants have always been arrogant idiots taking random blind stabs in the dark, and you’re logically concluding that they’re still the same idiots. The “Four Seasons Total Landscaping” idiots haven’t suddenly become capable of some groundbreaking RICO defense strategy that’s too clever for mere mortals to even understand it. They’re just idiots, doing idiot things.

There are no possible circumstances in which the court filings we’re now seeing could possibly help Trump or his co-defendants in any way. In that sense it doesn’t matter why they’re doing it. Even if in their deeply shattered minds they think they have a strategy, they’re not capable of such a thing. The “Trump 19” keep showing us over and over again that they are the biggest idiots we have ever encountered. They cannot help themselves, and they cannot help Trump. The only question is whether their incoherently idiotic approach to these court filings ends up backfiring so spectacularly that Trump gets stuck with a speedy trial as well.