Fox News finds a whole new way to humiliate itself

| 6:00 pm EDT July 10, 2023
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Have you ever shoplifted? I have not. But some people adore shoplifting. . In 2023, it still remains a pretty serious thing in the retail industry. That’s why so many retail companies hire loss prevention experts.

But perhaps these stores should rethink doing that because a new idea has sprung forth about handling shoplifters. And the creators of this idea appear to be (unfortunately) VERY serious about how to get this done!

This idea came from pundits on a beastly show called “The Five.” It can be seen on Fox non-news. I wouldn’t recommend watching it. The Five have some pretty big ideas about how to stop shoplifting. It comes down too, they explained the retail workers themselves.

This idea was first said aloud by Fox’s Greg Gutfeld and involved turning retail workers into vigilantes. It was suggested that all retail workers be armed. Locked and loaded, as many charmingly say.

And some of these workers would be strategically placed OUTSIDE the retail store. So let’s say a big bad robber comes along and steals — I don’t know — a three musketeers bar. As they run out of the store, stolen candy bar in hand, the worker would simply “steal the stolen items back.”

Hurrah! Fox wins the Stupid of the Week award. We’ve always known Fox has NOTHING to do with the news, but this was bizarre even from their standpoint. Not only that, Gutfeld recommended it as “an ideal after-school job.” Hmm. I imagine the parents would have something to say about THAT. Let’s picture the scenario together.

Little Johnny comes bursting through the door: “Mom, Dad, I got a new job!”

“That’s fabulous honey” — mom — or dad –, or both would say, smiles on their faces. “What will you be doing?”

Ah, the poor unsuspecting parents.

“Catching criminals. By the way, can you buy me a gun? My store wants all workers armed, especially the ones that tackle the robbers.”

Yeah — I don’t think that would go over too well with Johnny’s parents.

Fox insisted their idea was excellent, with one Fox pundit commenting on safety issues.

“I think it’s a constitutional right you have, even if you are at work, to be safe in your environment, to be able to protect yourself.” Fox really needs to do a walk of shame over THESE comments. Their idea is ridiculous, and if they don’t know it, that’s really alarming.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.