Ron DeSantis just stepped in it

The people were waiting. All over the country, journalists, political pundits, lobbyists, politicians — all were poised, waiting for the great one to show up. It seemed like years they’d been waiting. He was the one though. And many of them couldn’t hide their excitement.

For he had come! He’d ridden in on his white horse, a true prince charming politics style, waiting to snatch them from the jaws of defeat! And defeat was what hovered in their minds, unrelenting, refusing to let them get a good night’s sleep.

“What if we lose?” some of them wondered in silent panic. “What if he screws it all up again?” The “he” was Donald Trump. You see, Trump had announced his candidacy, and many Republicans didn’t like it at all.

So now they waited. For HIM. The anointed one, the person the media had breathlessly talked up for MONTHS. Their savior — Ron DeSantis. They waited — and waited and waited. As the months went by, little wrinkles of worry, of malcontent, began to appear in their souls. They watched as their hero DeSantis did NOT announce. Instead, he went after Mickey Mouse.

Again. Again. And again. As more and more stories began to come out about some of the peculiar eating habits of their chosen one, more metaphorical wrinkles began to appear. AND THEN Disney sued him. And then he sued Disney. Around and around the merry-go-round went.

But wait! Reports were he was going to announce! Ronny had something to say! And the people dropped their worries for a bit. They were relieved and hoped maybe Ronny would still come through. And in an interview with NewsMax that aired Friday, DeSantis made his announcement.

I’m sure many tuned in. They knew the interview would be on. And they could get to hear their glorious savior offer validation of the long months of waiting. So along came Friday. And DeSantis did make an exciting announcement! And this stirring and mind-boggling declaration was — that Mickey Mouse hadn’t “made a peep” since he started his retaliation.

Crash! I’m sure there were PLENTY of dishes flying through the air on Friday. The people watched in shock as Ron proceeded to make almost the whole interview about the mouse whom he said he had beaten. “They have not made a peep,” Ron bragged about his soulmate.

He then went on to talk profoundly about what the whole Disney fight means to him as astonishment washed over Twitter:

“The mouse has destroyed him.”
“Is Ron cracking up?”
“Maybe he should ask Mickey to be his VEEP.”

Sigh. Another week, another speech about Disney. It does appear these crestfallen Republicans have lost their hero to the mouse.