By all means, Republicans, please proceed!

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Conventional wisdom says that voter turnout in off-year elections favors the Republican party. There are many reasons why this has historically been the case, but they all boil down to voter engagement.

And so the Democrats were expected to lose two Senate seats in Georgia. After all, we had just spent four exhausting years working to rid ourselves of the most corrupt president in our history. We had won the war, and the pundits expected us to return to our woke covens to feast on the flesh of the unborn in celebration while our progress quietly regressed.

But then a funny thing happened. Some idiot decided to pretend he didn’t lose the election in a blowout, giving American voters bad flashbacks to that time when the Supreme Court halted the counting of votes and handed the election to the (now) second-worst president in our history. And so the war dragged on from November into January.

We stepped up and put in the hard work in Georgia to rip the gavel out of Moscow Mitch’s frail hands, delivering a razor-thin Senate majority to the Democrats. Sweet victory! But just as we were about to pop the cork on that special bottle of Tears of the Deplorables, a storm of idiots, with the support of some elected lawmakers, desecrated our nation’s capital in a pathetic attempt to thwart the ceremonial counting of electoral votes.

We just can’t have nice things, it would seem. Republicans abuse their waning power to oppose common-sense mask and vaccine mandates or to enact onerous restrictions on voting or abortion rights. They file frivolous go-nowhere lawsuits and televise fake election audits to steal what we have worked so hard to win. Midterm elections are over a year away, but thanks to some premature super-spreader rallies we can sense that the 2024 primaries have already begun. They even tried to recall a popular governor and replace him with a clown carousel, only to draw us out in even greater numbers with a resounding “NO!”

So if this is supposed to be some genius winning strategy for the GQP, I say “bring it.” Tsunami season is still going strong.

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