The Rubio virus

| 10:00 am EDT July 1, 2021
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There is a new psychological illness making the rounds. This illness seems only to affect Republicans. So what is this mysterious illness? I have named it “The Rubio virus.” That name is because Marco Rubio may have inadvertently started the illness with all his talk about space aliens. So what are the symptoms of this illness?

The main symptom is thinking everybody is out to get you. This illness is spreading rampantly, and many GOP members have all the signs. What happens to these politicians with the Rubio virus is that they react in deeply suspicious ways to just about everyone. Currently, there is no cure for said disease except Cult deprogramming, which does not seem popular with victims of the Rubio virus.

It profoundly concerns because this psychological illness has already caused some of its carriers to lose their minds. And the paranoia that is manifesting itself is beginning to spread unchecked as carriers become more insane every day.

These carriers have progressed so much and so severely they are now even convinced the police are not their friends. They no longer like and admire the military. The other sign of this disease is trusting the wrong people. And this is also happening with carriers of the Rubio virus. These carriers seem to be indeed trusting the wrong people.

Some of the new objects of trust include Mr. Potato Head, UFOs, insurrectionists, murderers, Dr. Seuss and Sebastian Gorka. I believe the last name on this list is the most concerning.

So, these deranged people need a cure. But they cannot be helped unless they want to be helped. This does not appear to be happening anytime soon. So expect their symptoms to worsen as their paranoia reaches places we cannot even begin to imagine.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.