Fox News host Greg Gutfeld crashes and burns
Fox News, apparently fed up with the fact that late night talk show hosts routinely roast conservatives, has launched a new show, “Gutfeld!” In a feeble attempt to even the score. The problem is, the host, Greg Gutfeld, is woefully unfunny. And now he joins the supremely unfunny Mike Huckabee as the two supposed leading luminaries of conservative comedy. This sad state of Republican humor in the media is perplexing, as there are plenty of conservatives and Trumpsters who have said or done truly funny things, and they could be harnessed into a powerhouse comedy show.
Remember when Kayleigh McEnany said, with a perfect deadpan worthy of Steven Wright, that she would never lie from the White House podium? Comedy Gold! And she’s already on Fox News (and apparently was on Gutfeld’s first show – talk about a missed opportunity)!
Fox News stalwart Sean Hannity bears an uncanny resemblance to Three Stooges comedy legend Curly Howard, especially his high-pitched, squeaky voice, but has never exploited this. Shave his head, poke him in the eyes, and watch the high-jinks ensue!
Dr. Deborah Birx, who is now available, once said that Trump was “so attentive to the scientific literature and the details and the data” related to the coronavirus pandemic. People will be rolling in the aisles if Fox News gave her a comedy platform. “Stop — you’re killing me!”
Melania Trump has famously claimed to speak 5 languages fluently, yet has performed for the entire world a long-term avant-garde comedy routine worthy of Andy Kaufman by only employing pidgin English in every single one of her public speaking appearances for the past 5 years – without breaking character once! And who can forget her hilarious “Be Best” campaign to fight online bullying while standing alongside the biggest bully by far?
Trump himself has said many genuinely funny things, such as: He accomplished more in four years than any other President; His response to the pandemic was terrific; His phone calls to Zelensky and Raffensperger were “perfect; ”He is a “high I.Q. individual”; He is the least racist person in the world; Devin Nunes is a “great patriot”; Ingesting bleach and light will cure COVID; Jim Jordan is a “great American”;
Nobody respects women more than Trump; Matt Gaetz is a “great talent, young, handsome,” and “going places”; He is going to “Make America Great Again”; Nobody’s been tougher on Russia than Trump; and He is going to “Drain the Swamp.”
Which brings us to Trump’s Cabinet appointments. He appointed a noted neurosurgeon, Ben Carson, to head HUD, because he lived in a house. He appointed Betsy DeVos to Education, because she doesn’t believe in it. He appointed Rick Perry to a Department he sought to abolish – although he couldn’t identify it. And as for White House staff, Trump appointed his daughter and her husband to top positions, just so he could say with a straight face that they were qualified for the job. It takes a true master of comic delivery to even attempt to make such a preposterous claim.
And only a very stable comedy genius could sustain this level of hilarity for 4+ years. Fox News should can Gutfeld and let the comedy pros take over.
