Our marvelous President

This unlikely miracle we call existence is a privilege each of us share. It is such a privilege to be alive in this universe of wonders that we should be awestruck by it every day. So the extent to which we take care of our own bodies is an important metric of our own individual wisdom.

I hasten to add it’s not the only metric. Christopher Hitchens comes immediately to mind as a tragic example of the self-abuse of drinking and smoking. There is no doubt in my mind he was a genius. If only he’d also focused some of his laser intellect on taking better care of his physical self we might have had him around when we needed him most, specifically, the last four years. Think of the insights we could have gained. Think of what we lost!

So I was sincerely heartened when I first learned that Joe Biden diligently works out in the gym every morning and takes care of himself. But it was hardly surprising. The difference between Biden and the former guy is obvious. Biden is vigorous and moves like a much younger man. The morbidly obese one-term former guy moves like someone ten years older than his 74 years, stumbling along, clutching podiums, slurring his words, almost falling over walking down ramps. A real loser.

There is no mystery about the physical acumen of the two men: one works out in the gym every morning and is careful with his diet out of an abundance of wisdom and self-nurturing. The other is allergic to exercise and subsists almost exclusively on junk food out of an abundance of stupidity and self-loathing. The final result is no mystery.

What’s more, President Biden is too busy working for the American people to be distracted by petty issues. He barely looks at Twitter, and only does so when a specific tweet is brought to him. He is too busy running the country to obsess about such time-wasting things. He has a job to do and he’s doing it. The former guy spent almost all of his waking life on Twitter plotting petty, little-man vengeances against the ever-growing list of human beings he hated. Meanwhile, Americans died of COVID-19 in staggering numbers every day. He was and remains a little, stupid man consumed by hatred.

President Biden, on the other hand, walks the walk. Masks are mandatory in his White House, which is why the Biden administration remains COVID free. Though unlike some people I could mention by name he never boasts. He doesn’t have to. His work ethic and his spectacular accomplishments speak for themselves. In the short time he’s been in office he’s transformed America from a place of bitter infighting, treachery and darkness into a re-emerging shining city on a hill.

His most breathtaking recent miracle, the invocation of the Defense Production Act and strategic planning of American vaccinations, means every American can be vaccinated by the end of May. That fact alone ought to win him the grateful acclaim of every single living American. The fact that he only has an approval rating of 60% is a national disgrace, but it’s easily 15 points more than the toxic, hate-tweeting former guy could have ever dreamed of on his best day.

It was President Biden who challenged Congress to pass the massive stimulus bill. His enlightened immigration overhaul could lead to millions of undocumented human beings (that’s human beings, not “illegals”) gaining citizenship. Next he plans a multi-trillion dollar program to construct roads, bridges, airports and other projects across the country. That’s right, he’s already addressing infrastructure, something the former guy promised to do for four years but refused to do because Nancy Pelosi hurt his feelings and because he was lazy and evil. The President also plans to remake the energy and manufacturing sectors and rewrite the tax code.

This is how a real President behaves. He loves his country, his job, his service to the American people, and he takes care of himself. He isn’t perfect, no human being is. But he’s well on the road in the direction of perfection. Finally, someone who actually cares about America is in charge! Someone who sets a good example by also taking care of himself. So be happy. After four bleak years of darkness and hatred we’ve earned a little happiness. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.