Ted Cruz cuts and runs

| 2:55 pm EST February 18, 2021
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While Texas endures the worst ice storm in recent memory, its sanctimonious junior Senator Ted Cruz was photographed at the airport, golf bag in tow, awaiting his flight to Cancun, Mexico. The image creates a cognitive dissonance even greater than the combination of his flabby waistline and expensive running shoes. Cruz is bugging out to a tropical paradise, and if the people of Texas don’t like it they are welcome to perform the biologically unlikely.

As wearyingly Republican as all this looks, it hides quite safely in an embarrassment of riches. Sure, Cruz is going to take some heat for this. But it won’t be too much longer before some other Republican does something far more brazenly inappropriate, stupid or downright treasonous. Then all eyes will be on the other guy. It’s a kind of scumbag professional courtesy. All Cruz needs to do is sit tight and wait for the storm to pass (so to speak). And what better place to endure bad weather (political and otherwise) than Cancun, particularly when the bad weather in question is ever-so-graciously on the other side of the Gulf of Mexico?

Cruz watchers knew something was up when the ordinarily pugnacious Senator went dark on his Twitter account. Vox’s Aaron Rupar observed on Twitter, “Ted Cruz isn’t shi*posting or trying to own libs on Twitter which strongly suggests something is up.” Something indeed was up. Turns out Cruz wasn’t “sh*tposting” because his phone was probably tucked away in his luggage and switched to “airplane mode.”

But not to worry. Cruz will get back to being vicious and irresponsible soon. Next time you hear from Tedious Ted he’ll be on the Yucatán Peninsula with a margarita in one hand and a whole lot of whataboutisms in the other. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.